Always be you.

Article Talk

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This article is about the truth seer. For other uses, see Eric Rathbun (disambiguation).

Eric John Rathbun (born August 4, 1971) is a universal patriot, a father, and a glutton for punishment. Not known for contributing anything that had particular value in the material world, Rathbun mostly served as an imposter in first half of the game of life. Many have accurately described him as aloof, unpredictable, and raised-by-wolves. In business, he had mastered the art of saying what is supposed to be said and arranged a resume that fooled most, including especially himself.

Fortunately for him and many others, recent shifts in global consciousness have altered perspective. And following a pitch black decade of the soul (one dark night wasn’t nearly enough for the karma), his higher self has entered the game. He’s been standing patiently on the sideline for half a century whispering quietly “I got next.”

Rathbun, 2020 Felony Mugshot

Personal life

Early life

Eric John Rathbun was born in Tacoma, WA on August 4, 1971 at Tacoma General Hospital. Nicknamed “Peanut” in the nursing ward, Rathbun was barely five pounds and reported to have smelt like second hand smoke and tequila. He was introduced to a manipulated reality a month earlier than intended and wasn’t pleased. Bloodied, in possession of only one descended testicle, and immediately sensing a strong disturbance in the force, he was screaming at the inequity. He would come to find that he was far from alone.

He is the son of John Findley Rathbun Jr., a Tacoma-born player of the game and family passivist, and Lynn Catherine Johnson, a nurse unfamiliar with bedside manner and victim of only god knows what when she was younger.

Rathbun lived with his mother until age fourteen once saying “She was a free spirit but the price of admission for me wasn’t affordable.” Adding, “When she was home, she was either looking in the mirror or informing me that I was too small for sports and not smart enough for school.” Rathbun was said to have spent a lot of time alone - with more optimistic company. It wasn’t until later in life that he was able to forgive and appreciate the misunderstood spirit that she was.

He attended the Saint Charles Borromeo Elementary Grooming Institution and from the very beginning was confused. “One minute it’s all doves and candles and the next I’m literally getting spanked with something that looked like a cricket bat with holes in it”. Later in life he considered the Church as possibly having an agenda devoid of the things most would associate with kindness and love. This perception would later be confirmed as a $3B line item on the legal liabilities section of the Vatican Corporation balance sheet.

Attending Woodrow Wilson High School in urban Tacoma, WA , Rathbun continued strengthen his intellect and suppress his wisdom. With a student body one third white, one third black, and one third Southeast Asian he never saw any evidence racism. In 2022, he submitted, “There is a visible historic pattern, being taken seriously by critical thinkers from all races, that includes manipulated narratives that don’t really jive with reality.” Furthering with, “Evidence screams that the media and truth are far from synonymous and that motivations don’t align with humanity’s best interest.”

At home and school, Rathbun was a black sheep and turned to mother nature, the competitive athletics he was “too small for”, and humor as an outlet.

Degrees

After attending multiple community colleges in an effort to be accepted into a real college, any one would do, he barely acquired an associates degree. His memories include “A textbook titled The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Geography is defined as the true relationship between man and earth, and that life was starting to make sense.” These themes would eventually be found to influence the perspectives throughout Dear Fisher.

Rathbun went on to acquire a B.A. in Geography from Central Washington University and later in his career, a M.A. in Internet Marketing from the University of San Francisco. Education proved to him that “College is the best way to force read stuff from those that force read stuff from others.” In 2022, he was asked to provide clarity on this perspective where he responded “How many highly educated experts, authors, and doctors that specialize in ADHD have actually been diagnosed with ADHD themselves? How many have taken Adderall legalized cocaine for long durations and had the opportunity to compare and contrast it with years of holistic, dietary, exercise, lifestyle and spiritual therapies?”

Rathbun has, for the past several years, only spoken about what he knows. This may explain why he doesn’t speak much.

Marriage and family

In 2000, Rathbun married SYL (Sweet Young Leslie). Having absolutely no idea of how to navigate through the 21st century, she served as an experienced guide for Eric. So sweet, so young, and so likable, she should have been named Morlie, not Leslie. She was “One of the best things that ever happened to me and was instrumental in me finding my true self.”

After years of attempting to conceive in every natural and technological way, Eric and Leslie welcomed Fisher Darek Rathbun in December of 2016. “Oh yeah, that dude was a miracle alright! At that point in my life, I’d probably spent more time milking the snake than Steve Irwin”, whispered Rathbun when asked about the wonder of conception. Continuing, “Fisher is my best friend and was the first person that taught me how to love unconditionally. He is my purpose, a gift to all of us, and the motivation for the story unfolding.”

Career

Insurance and Financial Services: After earning a B.A. in Geography in 1995 and still deathly afraid of numbers, Eric was hired as loan underwriter at a large financial services company. He specialized in jet ski and boob job loans. How employment was maintained is unknown to this day. Sensing termination at any moment, he and his two year old resume moved on to trick a multi billion dollar insurance company. There he did similar work and suffered similarly. But more.

Software Sales and Marketing: In 2001, shortly after marrying and five years into slavery, Rathbun migrated to the dot com/software industry where only “the severely retarded were barred entry.” It is said he landed the job by claiming he could “increase the number of Financial Services customers” because he was a “Financial Services expert” as shown on his resume. Starting as a entry level slave, he led sales and marketing teams within a year. This allowed his ego to add the word “leadership” to the resume and facilitate higher profile professional suppression. He shared later in life, “the 2000’s were all about pretending to think big so I didn’t have to demonstrate results.”

Microsoft: In 2010, Rathbun’s resume deceived Microsoft and he joined Bills Gate’s Enterprise Business Solutions team . Here, he was told in his first sales meeting, “There are no monthly, quarterly and annual revenue goals”. For a good part of the following year he slept in the canopy of a Toyota Tacoma in a dark corner of the parking garage. He explained later in life that “Unfortunately the faint smell of Adrenochrome and lizard excrement when I attended meetings adjacent to Bill’s office triggered a gag reflex that forced me to quit.”

Reel Pure, Moldy Chum: Nearly a decade into slavery, he followed his passion and created a Fly Fishing brand that was different than Orvis. At the end of a two week vipassana retreat in 2019 he was asked of his fondest memory of “the Chum”, the industry’s most visited media site, he responded quietly but with pride, “We got white trash and niggers throwing double handed spey rods”. It is said that Moldy Chum and its founder is the only work/partnership that ever received his heart, until recently.

C-Level: A wise man once said that the only way get a million dollars in the fly-fishing business is to start with two, so Rathbun and his mortgage walked shamefully back to “the man”. As the Chief Marketing Officer of a leading legal software and services company in NYC, it was a more enjoyable role. “I worked with friends that gave me freedom and surrounded me with people armed with the deep experience to lead block for my bullshit.” Rathbun led a major company re-brand, threw ridiculous parties in Times Square, and told personal sasquatch encounter stories to tables full of Fortune 500 Chief Legal Officers without getting fired.

Philandering

In September of 2016, not one year after the birth of his son, Rathbun was caught in bed with the Czech Au Pair. Not long after having executed on arguably the greatest taboo in human history, he revealed that he “Had a long conversation with the Devil in a dream last night.” He said in super slow motion and in a voice that sounded like Klaus Schwab that “I would be very very very fucked for ten years” and that “I might get a couple back for impeccable behavior but not to count on it.”

Rathbun knew all of this long before any bad decisions were ever made. Decisions were made regardless. He was divorced soon thereafter with just enough financially to start over.

He summarized the experience like this, “Don’t do it. It’s painful for everyone but only you deserve every bit of that pain.”

Disease

Earlier in 2015, the same time period he committed family suicide, Rathbun received a concerning phone call from the King County Health department regarding lab tests that showed a severe overgrowth of e Coli and Yersinia (the bubonic plague bacteria). After a round of quarantine questions and pressure to reveal the fast food restaurant source, he told the county health agent “I don’t eat fast food and I’ve been feeling sick like this for well over a year now.” The agent then, after a long pause, was reported to have nervously wished him the very best of luck.

Loss

Five years of human interaction, forty pounds overnight, just under a hundred thousand in out of pocket healthcare costs, friends, unfamiliarity with human immune system, tears, all material items owned (minus two full duffle bags, one action packer, underwhelming transportation, and a 20 lb. terrier), control, a twenty five year one can a day chewing tobacco habit, a natural microbiome, unfamiliarity with fecal microbiota transplant therapy, family, the human ego (multiple times), interest in fishing and every other thing that didn’t involve getting the fuck better, the misconception that western medicine is the only way, the willingness to blame anyone at any time for how I feel emotionally, many characteristics associated with being unkind, doubt in the power of thought, a short temper, aversion towards meditation, separation from a higher source, quite a few pairs of clean underwear, blind belief in “the experts”, the desire for alcohol and drugs, the ability to provide a sensible explanation to close friends and family, willingness to judge anyone, the belief that it is not possible to survive hundreds of nights without sleeping in a bed that is inside a house, the human boner, the preconceived notion that people die after four to five days eating, a belief that yoga was un-male, fear of death everything, ignorance of quantum physics, decades of unwilling to leave toxins, the vail that’s blinded us, the ability to breathe on several occasions, gallons of night sweat, life threatening levels of nutrients and trace minerals, challenges practicing compassion, patience with evil, willingness to retire, faith, the sense of humor, and determination.

Incarceration

In June of 2020, about six months into the Covid plandemic, Rathbun had returned from a road trip camping in the National Parks of the American Southwest. Having had the strength for the first time in five years, he focused to develop a business plan where his experiences could be used to help remove the suffering of others. Upon his return he faced fear surrounding his covid safety protocol. While possessing the ability to manage his own fear, he was unable to do the same for others.

It was the same fear that has divided families across the globe for the past three years. It has alienated, villainized, terminated, oppressed, removed, diagnosed, de-platformed, de-voiced, targeted, and gaged those who did not possess the fear. Fear, he would later determine, has ”been confused with virtue.” And that, “fear is not virtue.”

On June 1st 2020, the applicable adjective applied to Rathbun was incarcerated.

He would spend a couple weeks at Deschutes County Jail in Bend, Oregon. On his final night he reportedly had another dream with Klaus informing him “it’s been five years and you’ve only been very, very fucked. And that, “there’s still more fucking to be had, but the good behavior thing is still in play.” His memories of time served include, “food Mr. Woo wouldn’t feed his pigs, no pooing for thirteen straight days, and disease remission.”

Charges were eventually dropped.

Death

Multiple assassination attempts had been made on the life of his ego the prior five years with no success. While Eric had pronounced it dead on more than a dozen occasions, his Ego had always regained its pulse and recovered quite rapidly.

On Thursday, November 4, 2021 at 7:47pm Eric’s Ego passed peacefully and painlessly.

Custody Scare

In the spring of 2022, there was an attempt to remove custody of Fisher from Eric. After retaining the legal team of Rathbun, Rathbun and Rathbun (me cubed), Deschutes County granted no such custody removal. Mini me and Dad are still going strong.

Resurgence

Better, but still not fully recovered, Rathbun used the second half of 2022 to “Hump a $17/hr. landscape Labor job figuring I’d use mother nature and revolting amounts of physicality to end this thing once and for all.”

He finally finished all the bitching and moaning by screaming “It worked.”

Rathbun is currently scheduling media interviews and presently kicking off a major human ascension initiative.

Influences

The First Amendment, The Bhuddha, Mother Nature, The United States Constitution, Intuition, Marcus Aurelius, Steve Largent, Pirate the dog, Common Sense, Ganesha, Richard Pryor, The Dharma, David Lee Roth, Job, The Bhagavad Gita, Dave Chappell, The Force, Rocky Balboa, Samurai, John F. Kennedy, The Truth, Han Solo, Joseph Campbell, Bruce Campbell, Sturgill Simpson, Bob Gimlin, Paramahansa Yogananda, Russell Brand, The Yoga Sutras, John J. Rambo, Native American Shamanism, Burt Reynold’s Career Resurgence, Vaclav Havel, Tucker Carlson, and Amphetamine Salts.

Letters to those ghosted but loved

Aaron Vance, Nate Pace, Barbara, Dad, Madison and Mary, Brian Bennett, Ken West, Paul Yerkes, Jasson Zurilligan, Cam Miller, Steve Apple, Spencer Ross, The Johnsons

For those that refused my silence

Bryan Rivas, David Long